Husband is tired of his wife’s self-declared tradition guardian uncle, who targets every woman who marries into the family, policing their choices and handing out lectures on culture: ‘He claims they’re single-handedly destroying family values’

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  • My wife’s uncle acts like the 'family culture' police and I am done

    "He lectures them like he's running a finishing school for the 1950s"
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  • So this has been bugging me for a while, and I need to vent. People from this culture may relate.
  • My wife's uncle has somehow made it his life's mission to critique every single woman who marries into the family. Not in a "oh, - he gives advice" way — no, he straight-up monitors people.
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  • If a wife isn't cooking "enough," dressing "modestly enough," serving her in-laws daily, or being the picture- perfect housewife by his outdated standards, he makes snide comments or lectures them like he's running a finishing school for the 1950s.
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  • It's always subtle at first. "Oh, you don't cook every day?" or "Back in our time, women didn't talk like that." But then it escalates.
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  • If someone has a career or speaks their mind or, God forbid, doesn't cater to their in-laws 24/7, he claims they're single-handedly destroying family values.
  • He once even said that a wife "should be grateful her husband allows her to work."
  • And if people push back or ignore his judgment? He sulks. Full-on cold shoulders, guilt-tripping, acting all hurt like he's the victim.
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  • He absolutely despises his sister's DIL who is an engineer at a reputable company, earns shitloads, stays long hours, and visits her family for the weekend which doesn't align with his 'vision'.
  • But then here's the kicker - - he still expects to be invited to every wedding, dinner, and get-together like he didn't just alienate half the family with his behavior.
  • You could invite him 15 min before the event and he will be there.
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  • At one event, he claimed that giving the new generation high quality education is why no one is having kids and everyone is working too much.
  • This is coming from a guy that stayed in one company for 40 years, never planned for his family's future, never properly educated his kids, and is now mooching off his poor son that is paying for the entire household of 10 people.
  • Everyone sees it. Everyone complains about it behind closed doors. But no one wants to be the one to cause drama because people would justify that he is old, so he keeps getting away with it.
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  • And honestly, it just makes every gathering a little more exhausting.

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